i've always wanted to fly
but i never really knew why
now i know, deep inside i want to fly
i want to look down on the world
be able to say im up high

on my wonderful journey
ill be sure to take the things i need
my heart my soul and my list of good deeds
ill forget all my mistakes and ill start all over
and just for good luck ill pack a four leaf clover

lately i havent felt hopeless, actually i feel great
as for others i cant say, the tensions pretty thick
im not one to hurt a fly but tonight that phrase
comes out to be a lie

theres a bit of a struggle between my mind and emotions
my hearts screaming so loud causing a commotion
i have to break out of my comfort zone
im done being with someone but still feeling alone

im taking my journey through the sky
sweet and soft like a child's lullaby

hm.

there's not a simpler way to put it
you had me at hello, now im hoping you don't go
its been a while since i've had butterflies
but your like a mail man you deliver them faster than you'll ever know
you have me feeling like a fool, slowly but surely falling for you
haven't even had physical contact and im already fantasizing
i forgot to mention that smile you have is quite mesmerizing
you make me laugh and you make me smile
i wouldn't mind having you around even for a little while
its so cliche but you make my heart race from miles away
thats talent, and your way with words thats something i like too
but i wont make this about all the things id do to you

the fear makes it a journey

the hearts a corridor, never ending
always wanting more
taking its time in surrendering
never knowing whats in store
theres a push and theres a pull
never ending are the lies
the hearts just a fool
sweet sounding lullaby's
a moment from the heart is never dull

what is fear without bravery
what is joy without spirit
what is love without loss
and what is pain without scars

they say not to be afraid
theres no way to avoid it
but how can i not be afraid
i've never walked home this way


the pitter patter of my hearts beating
the millions of thoughts that in my mind are fleeting
like a lioness the courage flows right through me
like a hare the fear injects into me
so dangerous yet so fulfilling

for mama shayy

alright this is for mama shayna<3
i miss you mamas! and especially cause mom doesnt buy cookies unless your here -__-
mostly cause i casnt sing on the spot
so trying to make a cover of anything was bad.
and yeah by the way whats my name is my song<3 ;)
xo


Original Video - More videos at TinyPic

where'd all the good times go

she thought they were in love, she thought he'd treat her right

and at the end of it all, what they did the most was curse each other

in the beginning it was sweet, and ironic but now it was always a fight

shed lie there on the cold hard mattress reminiscing, where'd all the good times go

couldn't remember the last time she had gone at least a week without crying

lately it'd always been like this she was never up high she was always down low

everyone said she was one in a million, if that was so then why'd she feel invisible

with a slight bit of exaggeration she felt like she was falling apart slowly and sleeplessly dying

shes home sick, in a place she doesn't know remembering once upon a time when she was invincible.

she used to be the girl that was always on top, yeah you could say she was the leader of the flock

always making people crack a smile, now she cant even force her lips to curve up into a grin

if she knew falling in love was going to end like this, she would've stayed in that wonderful place full of sin

thats the story of a girl, not just any girl i'll tell you that, that foolish girl thats giving up herself for someone else

i'd like to call her me, people would hear my name and it'd ring a thousand bells

i could make anyones knees weak, my persona so brilliant it was overwhelming

then you came in and dragged me to hell tell me why it had to be like this

loving you makes me hate myself, so different yet so alike

i dont want you to tell me you love me i want you to prove it

i can't be stuck in this never ending fight, as much as i pretend it is, it truly isn't right

and tonight i'll drop the fake smile and ill let myself be who i really am

i'm not quiet, i'm not innocent, i'm a train wreck, but i'll tell you baby thats the way i was meant to be

I was made for the struggle, made for the pain, i was made to handle anything that ever got in my way

hm. quick

caught in between, darkness and light

show me where to go, guide me in the right direction

these are my own battles to fight

but i cant help but to feel alone

even if ive got a full home

i dont even feel like im myself anymore

have a heart harder than a stone

when im trying to warm up

you make me so cold

got you right there but i feel so alone.

lovely

as silent as a ghost, you came into my life

you soon became as sweet as a cup of coffee in the morning

you made me feel so right even if they said it was wrong

i never knew much about love besides the heart break that came along right after

then you started saying the sweetest things that just about made me melt

the world kept telling me we'd end up another tragic love story disaster

but so far so good, you keep the same smile on my face that i had the first time we met

and the butterflies i can still feel them over and over again

your so much more than my sunshine on a cloudy day

so much more than the stars that light the sky

you so much more than a childs first word

the word special doesnt even describe you

i could try to use almost every word in the dictionary

and baby it still wouldnt be enough

because your more than anyone will ever know

you make me say things ive never said before

and you fill me up with emotions i can hardly explain

ever since you walked through that door

i knew youd be something special in my life

sometimes our love has a dreamlike quality

something that seems unreal

sometimes i have to pinch myself just to make sure im awake

i used to think it was to good to be true

but you proved me wrong, now i have everything ive ever wanted

and im keeping it that way until the sun turns blue

meaning its going to stay that way as long as i live

because you are the shooting star i wish upon every night

your what makes me know this love is true.

...........

once upon a time ago, i had a life full of reckless dreams

since then its been a while, and all those are just senseless things

i used to spend my night on a dance floor intoxicated to no end

i had the greatest of friends, the kind you never forget

but i had to grow up before i got left behind

theres things you start to realize in time

like how important it is to plan ahead

i had to change my state of mind

and do the things i used to dread

they say break the rules while your young

but why not build a base for you future

and save the fun

i cant say i dont miss the things i left behind

because they always hold a special place in my heart

but i had to learn to say no and how to beat time

i havent done much but i can say its a start

idk

you give me all these feelings that i can barely write down
i attempt to put these knotts in my tummy into words
but multiple times i find myself erasing each letter
the position im in seems almost absurd
but for some reason im still waiting

its the way when were on the phone for hours that your voice soothes me
the way that i can tell you anything and know your lips will forever be sealed
im filled with fears that im almost certain the whole world can see
but i cant stop the way my fragile heart feels

i never knew what people meant when they asked
how something so wrong felt so right, until now
the butterflies i get when im holding your hand
the smile that creeps upon my face when you say my name
these feelings are more than i can stand
im hoping you mean it when you say you feel the same

rightnow time is all i have on my side
but even that may be against me
im hoping maybe soon youll be mine
but only time knows if its meant to be

for now all i have is the hope in my heart
and the way you leave me breathless
but i know deep inside that we have something special
i feel like the whole world can see it

i think in reality your scared of love
because that hearts been broken oh so much
but that is the last thing you should think of
and let yourself be taken by the rush
i could be yours
you could be mine
all we have going for us now
is the sweet ticking time

my tainted love story

i feel it in my chest when i can hardly breathe
i feel it in my knees when i can barely stand
i feel it in between my fingers as you hold my hand

the feel of your lips briefly being pressed up against mine
the warmth of my body against yours while i was safe in your arms
the way that i thought we would one day be
the way you made me feel as if i was finally free

you and i seemed so perfect the way id see nothing but you
and how when you were near me my troubles were gone
it was as if i had no past as if i had no future
only that moment seemed to matter because i thought it was love

but the world is right, i am naive
im blind for not being able to see
im immature for even hoping
im foolish for really beleiving we were meant to be

it feels like im writing a drawn out letter
drawn out like my emotions on a colored sheet of paper
then tossed away like an unwanted picture

excuses are excuses no matter how much you sugar coat them
and i seem to keep creating one after the other
telling my self that you love me but that were impossible
always finding a different reason as to why you chose her

but maybe the real reason should come into my reality
maybe im not what you want, all those times you called me perfect
all those times i thought the wait was worth it
the way youd occupy my mind and my time
but i should admit it, im the one at loss
the only reason that comes with truth is that i was blind

imy

i miss the feel of your lips
i miss the warmth of your fingertips
i miss the words you would say
and how slowly in my mind theyd replay
i miss our silent hugs
i miss the spark i would feel
i miss the feelings youd give me
i miss beleiving they were real
i miss the light in your smile
i miss the look in your eyes
i miss being near you even if for a little while
and the way your words would catch me by surprise
i miss having hope in what we would someday be
i miss thinking that one day thered really be a you and me
i miss feeling like your heart was mine
i miss hearing from you all the time
but to sum this all up the most i can say
is i miss you more everyday

butterflies

in the pit of my stomach lie a thousand butterflies
i leave them there right where you left them
with every word you say their wings flutter
leaving me speechless with knots in my tummy
beneath the butterflies lies a bit of fear
i can never be sure of whats true
but for now i can hold onto whats been said here
because i only have the sweetest reminders of you