Ive been holding my composure for what seems like forever When really I'm devastated, I'm angry, completely broken, and fucked up I sit around and I think about how it could've been different I think about how I'd give my life for you to have yours back They say it gets better with time, how can this ever get better? You were my rock, the only thing that kept me wanting to fight We had dreams, it wasn't supposed to end so soon I remember the sound of your voice and it kills me, I miss that sound I remember being a kid, we were broke but we were happy you struggled to raise me, always put me first we were a team, we were supposed to conquer the world but this wasn't part of the plan, you weren't supposed to go the pain doesn't stop, I pretend I'm strong but I'm weak tried to take my own life and I didn't succeed They think I'm brave always telling me they admire my strength I know you know the truth, I'm broken afraid to trust and afraid to love I distance myself from others because I couldn't bare to lose them it eats me alive, I didn't just lose my mother I lost my life you were all I had, This world is so lonely without you I don't know how much more I can take I find myself constantly hoping that I'll be taken too I'm alone, but I keep going on for you I keep fighting through all my hurt because you raised me to never give up but this pain you could've never prepared me for The ache in my chest that begins from the moment I awaken to the moment I go to sleep The way when I hear your favorite songs I break down and can't fight back the tears I don't understand why things happened the way they did, I know you're happy wherever you are It's my own pain I don't know how to deal with, I wear a smile hoping someone will see through it They never do, It doesn't end, I hope one day it will because I don't know how long I can do this.