Ive been holding my composure for what seems like forever When really I'm devastated, I'm angry, completely broken, and fucked up I sit around and I think about how it could've been different I think about how I'd give my life for you to have yours back They say it gets better with time, how can this ever get better? You were my rock, the only thing that kept me wanting to fight We had dreams, it wasn't supposed to end so soon I remember the sound of your voice and it kills me, I miss that sound I remember being a kid, we were broke but we were happy you struggled to raise me, always put me first we were a team, we were supposed to conquer the world but this wasn't part of the plan, you weren't supposed to go the pain doesn't stop, I pretend I'm strong but I'm weak tried to take my own life and I didn't succeed They think I'm brave always telling me they admire my strength I know you know the truth, I'm broken afraid to trust and afraid to love I distance myself from others because I couldn't bare to lose them it eats me alive, I didn't just lose my mother I lost my life you were all I had, This world is so lonely without you I don't know how much more I can take I find myself constantly hoping that I'll be taken too I'm alone, but I keep going on for you I keep fighting through all my hurt because you raised me to never give up but this pain you could've never prepared me for The ache in my chest that begins from the moment I awaken to the moment I go to sleep The way when I hear your favorite songs I break down and can't fight back the tears I don't understand why things happened the way they did, I know you're happy wherever you are It's my own pain I don't know how to deal with, I wear a smile hoping someone will see through it They never do, It doesn't end, I hope one day it will because I don't know how long I can do this.

....

Demons thirst for my blood
the tears i shed are almost holy
i walk these narrow roads all alone
i tease and i pretend to play but i dont give in

i speak words of truth
i dont believe in wisdom
i am the worlds biggest secret
and many others biggest regret

im not a saint i never will be
if i were to be unveiled
id have 2 heads and claws for feet
im no good to anyone not even myself

in my head i am an icon
someone big and unforgettable
on a map i am no one
someone simple and replaceable

i had a dream

I had a dream where i could ride a bike
i was peddling faster than ever
there was no fear, there was no fright
riding in my torn jeans and woven sweater
just me the wind, the stars, and my night
in my mind it would all last forever
my dreams my hopes and the light

I had a dream where i was me
out of hiding, in the open
my light shining through
the whole world could see

I had a dream where I could sing
I was an angel in the making
my voice so great, so breathtaking
no more pain, my heart stopped constantly aching

I had a dream where i wasnt afraid
strength was the only thing i knew
beauty was all that remained
in that dream I also flew
thats when I remembered
dreams are to good to be true

oblivious

twenty four hours seven days
millions of clocks ticking
years of never changing ways
political overload its sickening

it's come down to violence
it's come down to oblivion
it's come down to silence
now it's one out of a million

truth is, ignorance is bliss
at least thats what they say
intelligence is a hit or miss
all they can do is pray

the only place we know
falling apart before our eyes
no ones ready to let go
blinded by the lies

infinity

Self validation eludes most people
darkness swallows the mind whole
leaving you wounded and feeble
story after story being told

desperation and weakness
the tantalizing fulfillment
your fear of the dark leaving you sleepless
the wicked feeling of pains endearment

the violent jolt of electricity filling your limbs
getting ready for your rendezvous with fate
counting all your blessings forgetting all your sins
ready to give up whatever is at stake

unsure of what you're truly afraid of
finding the courage to break through
standing tall when push comes to shove
never letting sorrow over take you

i've always wanted to fly
but i never really knew why
now i know, deep inside i want to fly
i want to look down on the world
be able to say im up high

on my wonderful journey
ill be sure to take the things i need
my heart my soul and my list of good deeds
ill forget all my mistakes and ill start all over
and just for good luck ill pack a four leaf clover

lately i havent felt hopeless, actually i feel great
as for others i cant say, the tensions pretty thick
im not one to hurt a fly but tonight that phrase
comes out to be a lie

theres a bit of a struggle between my mind and emotions
my hearts screaming so loud causing a commotion
i have to break out of my comfort zone
im done being with someone but still feeling alone

im taking my journey through the sky
sweet and soft like a child's lullaby